Welcome home for you are not lost 

As I saunter along this undiscovered path, bathing in the forest around me, my senses are awakened at each step and I feel closer to the story I am unveiling for you. 

My bare feet grounding me, as the memory of the magic within the damp, mossy forest opens a portal back in time, in my mind. 

I have many stories waiting to be written, and many that will be left unwritten, but the story I feel called upon to share in this moment, is a story of self-acceptance, discovery and lessons learnt. I am letting my creativity speak, to invite you to dig deeper within, and encourage you to wake up and welcome the magic of acceptance back into your life.

“A little girl born with a gift

Quirky, creative, a moon child at heart

A day dreamer, a lone believer

Abusing her thoughts and believing their words, she stopped growing into her sparkle

Forming layers and layers and stripping her of self-worth

By rejecting her sparkle, she absorbed vulnerable energy

She fell, fed to the wolves, but when the moon shone bright, the sunrise followed and just like the sun she rose shining her light and warmth

She came back stronger, enlightened with lessons learnt and healed scars”- Natasha Holland

Basking in the misty air around me, I am filling my lungs with colour, light and energy. Connecting with nature as the soles of my feet submerge into the damp mud, layered with purple heather, decorated artistically with cobwebs and dew drops. 

My wildness is awakened, and I am experiencing life on another level where colours look richer and skin feels alive, I can hear and feel things around me like never before, truly living. I look around me and I see the forest coming to life. The singing of the birds, the echo of an owl, a small mouse in the distance carrying its supper.

The nature all around me welcomes me in. We are connected, as one, all together. I feel no fear, nor do they. For I know where I am is where I am meant to be, here in this moment. The consistency of the chalky mud between my toes reminds me of a familiar feeling, put to sleep for many years, but newly awakened once again. 

Growing up in a small, remote, village I spent my childhood amongst the trees and in the forest. Where nature and one connect and become whole. Where magic was created and discovered. Bare back pony riding, living without fear of the shadows. I was beautifully FEARLESS in my surroundings, wrapped in the arms of nature, feeling her heartbeat. 

The wild child in the woods, flowing in the river, high up in the trees. I did not need to seek clarity for I was clear of thought. The country was the best place for me to be. It allowed the free-spirited child to roam free without expectation. My roots were firm and my intuition alight. I was free and I was living completely in the now, experiencing life at its rawest. 

I praise and thank my parents for allowing me to be the child I was, as I appreciate how it would have been challenging otherwise. More so when I was ill. That took a lot of my mother’s time, health, and energy. She dedicated her time to heal me and nursed me when I almost gave up the fight. She taught me a lot about motherhood during those painful years. For that I will be forever grateful. She nursed me back to life, nurturing my soul, body and mind, and she breathed life back into my bones. 

Mum says that as a new-born baby I had a gift, able to read people and situations. A psychic gift. I realise now, it is my calling to discover and develop this further to heal, help and guide others. But back then I was simply misunderstood. 

I discovered this around between the ages of five and nine. Stuck in the cage called school, I felt ashamed of who l was. It seemed that society had stripped me of my confidence, labelled me, and created layer upon layer of negative belief. I was never supposed to fit into a box, no box was big enough. School was an absolute living hell. Dimming my sparkle. I stopped believing in my inner voice, intuition, and gift. I shut the moon child away and welcomed in societies voice. 

“You are not broken my dear, you are not lost, accepting is believing and believing starts within”- Natasha Holland

My belief early on was that I was unteachable. I was split in two. The child at home, roaming in the forest, and the child at school, suffocating and screaming inside. Trapped. The product of a system that was not designed to nurture the wild child. 

“Sweet wild child you don't need tamed nor fixed

totally free of thought and holding the secrets to true living

grounded in soils of growth and magical beyond “ - Natasha Holland

A series of events shut me off from learning. I felt like a failure! Punished for my gifted brain. It was not until I was older that I discovered I was dyslexic; another gift that I unveiled and made it my mission to understand. 

Welcoming this gift opened a door that I would have never discovered. The door of creativity, learning and belief. It also released me from the expectation that I had to be “perfect!” (A swear word in the holland household). 

It was around this time I became a parent, which re-awakened the wildness within, the truth of who I was. My true purpose and calling had become crystal clear to me. I noticed my circle got smaller and I was able to control what energy was around me. This was the start of another journey, a journey of awakening. 

“she is not lost, she is still there, 

she’s your inner voice, your deep intuition,

 seeking is believing and believing starts from within,

She is is the barefoot dancing shadow in the distance by the trees, 

she is within you and beautifully free, 

the touch of the ground beneath her soles fuelled by years of past treasures and gold, 

within each woman stands a thousand and holds the key,

The key to unlock the wilderness to be free, so if you seek her, she will answer, 

somewhere in between the trees,

so trust yourself and you will see,

the wild women within running free, 

for those who ask the questions receive the answers, 

the wisdom and the magic, she has the spirit, 

she is the soul and all the answers still untold.”- Natasha Holland

I was gifted motherhood at the age of 18, shy, an outcast in society. A truly awakening moment. Upgrading my intuition and acknowledging my true calling in life, enabling me to tap into my creativity through photography. Which I used as a coping mechanism throughout my awful childhood illness at the age of 9. It helped me to believe in myself, and to learn, achieve, and conquer! A true blessing. 

Motherhood came easy, i just knew what to do! it was truly a magical moment. It triggered in me a primal instinct that instantly challenged my belief system and encouraged me to protect my children from society and its devilish ways. It woke the wild women instinct. I felt alive albeit with bags under my eyes!

Becoming a mother ignited my spiritual journey and gifted me the desire to seek the unknown, to raise my children spiritually and encourage their talents. Inspiring them to step into their magic and to be unique, as this in itself is a superpower! Self-acceptance is the key to living your true purpose and a fulfilled life. 

“Free spirited child, promise yourself to never shrink to fit in to other’s exceptions

Use your voice and give yourself permission to live your life with your boundaries

You have the right to have your options, view and to say No

appreciate your talents and flourish and grow

Take risks and learn

be wild and free“  - Natasha Holland

As I am sitting here wondering which way my story is heading, I feel pulled to talk more about the lessons I learnt, and my motherhood journey.  But no, I am going to talk about my experience of human life instead. As this is a story I would like you to question.

Life is a gift for those who seek it. I have discovered that many just get by, they think saving or striving for money or status will give them a purpose for life...happiness, fulfilment. Yet at the age of 20 I discovered that this was an error in the system, a fault in this experience we call life. We have taken life for granted; we have overcomplicated living.

Is the answer to strip back and lead a simpler existence? To desire happiness and fulfilment in the present rather than spending our time striving to meet societys expections? To use our talents to heal, and to reap what we sow? 

We were born with lungs to breathe, yet many of us don’t know how. When did we stop breathing? - Natasha Holland

It is not until we truly accept ourselves that we live our true calling or purpose. Believing starts within, and we have everything within to thrive in our human experience. We are gifted a chance in life to spread love and compassion. To heal ourselves and others around us and learn from our lessons to grow as a better human. 

As a woman I felt silenced in this life, felt trapped in the expectations of an ancient ancestral seed, a seed buried deep inside me. But also feeling a sacred duty to break free from that conditioning.  To wake the wild woman within me. 

Connecting to the elements and experiencing nature is a passion of mine, as well as exploring with creativity, intuition and stepping into my divine feminine energy. I have never felt more alive on this journey! My senses are awakened, and each day brings magic and pure love. Ladies, it is time to remember what it is like to feel alive! 

 GO find yourself! Emerge from the chrysalis! It is time to fly! 

“I hear the call of the forest pulling me into a magical realm of fantasy and growth as i walk under the canopy of trees I feel at home as feel the heartbeat of the roots below me. 

Each turning point is a doorway to a new discovery of imagination and creativity. I wander deeper and deeper but I am not lost, I’m am found.” - Natasha Holland

Above I have touched on acceptance. This is a word that has fuelled my life. A word that welcomed the real me without fear, without the need to hide. Welcomed back the inner child who was shut off. This word freed me, gave me the key, held my hand, and showed me the way. Silencing the imposter as it welcomed in truly living and seeing, it slowed me down to appreciate and question. It encouraged me to write this chapter censoring the dyslexic voice inside. 

‘“Just keep breathing sweet love, this is just a part of your story, a chapter not the whole book, I promise you'll understand when you look back from chapter 20 that this chapter played an important role,

every lesson you learn in this life is an experience, take in the valuable lesson and keep learning and moving forward,

No regrets! Its all part of the plan,

Learn to learn and not hold on,

Find light in the darkest of paths and light the way for others,

Never take a single encounter for granted, never let a conversation pass without meaning, live in the present and evolve each second,

Each moment in your path is there for you…. question and never lose your curiosity” - Natasha Holland

Self-Acceptance 

So, what does this phrase mean and why is it so powerful? Or you may be thinking, how the hell can a word or a phrase really change your way of thinking?

This is what I have learnt on my journey of self-love and acceptance.

To answer the question, self-acceptance is one hundred percent accepting the person you are. Your personality, talents, looks, and even your current life situation, as well as your past. It is about accepting your lessons, choosing growth, and accepting future lessons. It is about accepting every side of you and looking at yourself with love, kindness, strength, and compassion.

I truly believe that self-acceptance is the key to fulfilment, happiness, self-love, and positivity. A key to valuing your dreams and aspirations, for loving the journey you are on and the person you are. Letting go of the imposters and negative talk and totally trusting the outcome of your decisions. You can do anything you put your mind to, and you have no limitations! You are fearless when you create! And your creativity flows and welcomes in new opportunities. 

If you accept yourself, you will find others around you accept you too, and it will give them permission to do the same. When you raise your frequency and send your vibrations out to the universe you will attract back what you desire. You will step into your own calling with ease and flow and no negative belief system will hold you back. 

Its ok to have crap days. Days where you feel down and not up to scratch. That is normal and oh so very human. Emotions are part of human life and are essential for us to exist and express. Acknowledgment and curiosity about your emotions will unveil the message for you. We listen to others, but can you imagine if you actually started listening to yourself? You would feel loved, honoured, and heard.

“I have come to fully accept myself and the life I am in and I the power within to do anything I wish, If I’m not happy I give myself permission to change and grow.” - Natasha Holland

Self-acceptance is believing in your power and strength, celebrating each other for who we are, our purpose, our divine magic. Its refusing to be crushed, censored, or tamed! It encourages us to take risks, trust our intuitions and the universe! We are all connected as one. We breathe out our thoughts and beliefs into the universe, so raise your vibrations and frequency by accepting all of yourself for who you are, breathing out love and compassion.

Thank you very much for reading this passage to self- acceptance and discovery. Life is a journey and not a destination. Welcome back for you are not lost… Acceptance is believing and believing starts within. 

Love and Light 

Natasha Holland

x x x